psalms 18

I love you Lord....
you are my strength...
you are my foundation, my shelter, and my hero!
I call on you, because no one else is qualified;
and the haters are always left in wonder!
Because you swooped from the sky and
took hold of me ......
and saved me from the deep end of the water!
You dig me (delight in me) and I will always
be passionately waiting on you to blow my mind yet again...

-stanley byrd

who took it?

who snatched your smile
and then told you it wasn't yours?

who stole the sting of your faith
and dulled the power that is possessed?

who stole your ability to look in the mirror
and see the piece of God in us all?

who took it?

who ran away with your vision
of opportunity, power, and change?

who stole the idea that it is possible?

who told you death was the end
and heaven was not your home?

who spun you around, stole your direction
and sent you on your way?

who took it?

who took your rainbow after the rain
and tied you down to your past?

who told you "you wont win"?
who told you "you would fail'?

who took your dreams
and twisted their inspiration?
who took the symphony in your heart?

*smile*

for what is lost can always be found
and when it is recovered, no one or thing can take it

...your dreams, your faith, your smile, your vision,
your purpose, your power, your rainbow, your joy, your song

DONT LET THEM TAKE IT!

PRAY...
THAT THE THIEF AND LIAR
WHO WAITS TO TRIP YOU UP
IS DETAINED AND BOUND
BY THE FAITH IN THE ONE,
WHO PROVIDES ALL OUR NEEDS.

-stanley b

will you pray...?

i prayed
and then i saw something happen
not instant gratification
but peace
peace for the now
and joy
and joy which is strength
and grace
His grace is motivating
because His love
His love is everlasting

i prayed
and then the spirit agreed
and then God heard me
and then He sealed it with peace
and wrapped it in joy
and graced it with His love......And so it is!

will you pray?


-stanley byrd

om nama shiva

an indian phrase meaning (to surrender to the God within)
after a praying, this is what God gave me:

My truth will set you free
you will feel better not living a lie.
i have freed you from bondage.
so no longer walk shackled (bond)
no more restrictions of freedom.
who the Son sets free is free indeed.
tell them who you are (stanley)
tell them who you used to be
and tell them who is responsible....

who i used to be:
liar, weak-willed, restricted, cheat,
impatient, short-tempered, thief,
vindictive, easily- frustrated,
insecure, a professional victim,
a freak, alcoholic, hurt, no will power,
drug addict, misunderstood, scared,
hurt, abandoned, bitter, stubborn,
arrogant, vengeful, sloppy, slothful,
lazy, unmotivated, transsexual,
desperate, inarticulate, ignorant....

but God has released me to be:
free, patient, understanding, loving,
caring, articulate, drug-free, forgiven,
bold, confident, compassionate,
intuitive, proactive, fearless,
more than a conqueror, honest,
trust-worthy, motivated, organized,
successful, strong-willed, positive,
secure, creative, protected,
(no longer a victim), healed,
restored, transformed,
empowered, endowed,
knowledgeable, unbound,
debt-free, encouraged,
diligent, humorous, fashionable, stronger
wiser, better, enlightened, at peace....
(still more to come)

and just as he exchanged my baggage for all these good things;
He can, shall, and will do the same for you....

-stanley byrd's (testimony)

my inspiration

(dedication to beautiful women in my life): my granny r.i.p. , mamie byrd (mom)

i adore your beauty
i admire you for your song
in your words i find clarity
and strength to go on

so thank you little flower
i embrace your symphony
i thank you for true affection
and the love you've sown in me.


-stanley byrd

Q aka Cupid...

im at this same damn crossroad
something about it feels sooo familiar.
this dark, dim, secluded area
where the cold, cruel atmosphere
is tainted even more by criticism,
doubt, and judgement.

you see i've been here before
in this same spot...a few times actually.
contemplating what direction my future
must go based on the mistakes made in my past

i was sooo thirsty, desperate
and needed most of all to be needed.
constant validation was required to pacify my urge,
need, or deficit of what was lacking the most
L.O.V.E.

so here we go on this merry go round
back & forth struggling with the hand of cupid
an arm wrestle i had not been sufficiently trained to fight
(that sneaky bastard)
tapping into my lonely factor
preying on me because he smelled the desperation oozing
from my freshly manicured fingertips.
he figured throwing curve balls my way
like booty calls dressed to kill or
the latest edition of vogue would send my
psychological clock running overtime.

Q my nickname for him, was pretty wise.
he positioned life's mirrors @ the perfect angel,
so that the light of reality would beam my imperfections into perspective
or at least in place where i was still young and naive
unable to cultivate wise & mature decisions....
like leaving a man alone that always seem to leave his wife alone.
the agony of defeat was so frustrating.
constantly fighting a battle that i knew i would fail
i mean how is anyone suppose to function (or fight)
if they know that the outcome will soon end in
the same slain soldier's song....

my eyes were used to tears
just as my heart was used to breaking.
dammit if my soul and will weren't fatigued
from fueling my earnest pursuit for love,
compassion... and completion.

we are at the bridge now of the melody
that me & Q have spent countless years,
months, weeks, days, and hours;
trying to make a real and relative as possible.
what began as the mission impossible,
slowly evolved to be the mission made possible
by a true life journey.
full of hope, but equal let down
rich with promise, but spun thickly with lies
pure almost righteous, but tainted by the rape
and ridicule of the world
(or at least this side of town).

so here we are
at this same damn crossroad.
learning lessons from past mistakes
all while training for the day
when Q & and i can throw down.

where did you come from?

just a breath of fresh air
you've touched me in the softest place
a place unventured like a virgin heart
you've made the effort
of finding the broken pieces
and mending this trampled, love-sick heart.
i am amazed at your genuine approach
to every intention; meek or bold.
thank you for not caring about my hang-ups,
short-comings and all.
but more showing me
charateristics of what love truly is

i cant wait till forever
held with in an eternity of life with you

-stanley byrd

a new day

a new day has to embarked on today
a day of beauty
a day of pain
a day of trial and error
a day of growth
a day of transitions
both painful, yet necessary.

i am excited
because i have been rendered this new day
unmerited, but so gracefully deemed to me.

so i will use this day
to stand over all insecurities
i will billow over all doubt
and take my place residing
in the tranquility and peace that surpasses all understanding.

i embrace this new day.

-stanley byrd

colors of my heart

red, bruised... evidence of survival
purple, sore... solid proof that this is my process.
pink, exhausted... not quite ready to give up.

I am a survivor.
and i shall continue to glow just as a golden flower.

black is slimming... white is right
green eyes of jealousy...red veins of rage
draped in purple royalty...
veiled by an undisputed favor.

a charmed jewel..... i am
worthy in any shade of spotlight
i am a beautiful work in progress
and in the spectrum of my life
i gleam with a resilient degree of hope;
aided by an immaculate essence of peace,
that fuels my earnest pursuit for an utopia.

so in the blue of my sorrow
and in the grey of my melancholy
i shall exude the most vibrant color of faith
materialized by a vivid portrait of my dreams.
with my mouth i shall articulate success..
i shall move mountains and with that power
i will collect a gallery of endless possibilities.
with one thought
i shall peer into the portrait of my discovery
ans sign it with colors of my heart.

the colors that have painted me into my place of destiny
a destiny smoked in with the mystery of chance
and highlighted by bold, beautiful textures of promise.
I bleed from this heart.......rainbow.

-stanley byrd

peace of mind

such a mood altering experience;
once sparked the feeling slowly lifts you from the truth
and twirls you into a playland of fantasy vs. reality.
my core is shaken by it's pungent stinch.
anxiously meandering into the unknown,
the hidden, the exposed......and the world of possibilities.
senses are heightened,
then dragged through a mucker of misery.
lead by a fleet of insecurities
this caravan is headed for an emotional demise.
this lethal impartation awaits for my approval.
I approach only partially prepared for the occassion
dressed with an armour of fear
and armed only with my untrained faith
I blindly approach these meeting grounds
petrified of the agenda to unfold
I wait, with my defenses on standby.
overlooking the table of contents
I see a detailed composition of issues:
both lived and conquered.
a spectrum of delusions munipulated
and altered by images of uncertanties.
my head overwhelmed,
swells from the abundance of shock and doubt.
things that I have know for so long as truth have crumbled,
due to one simple exposure to the light.
a simplistic ray,
holding in its power the opportunity for vison and change.
my eyes ache from this irregular occurence
but my heart beats the same....
there still remains truth.
I embrace the light
I curiously dive into it's stream
never second guessing it's purity
I bath in it's refreshing clarity
and allow all of the doubt,
tradition, insecurities and such to soak away.

I am sooo comforted by its prescence
that I must submerge the old me
and arise as a new being.
much like a baptism.
I symbolically take a stand in front of the world
and ackowledge that there can be life after death
there can be new beginnings
there can be security found in the unknown.
I rise to the occassion
much lighter than before
unburdened and elated for the opportunity
to embrace this new day
gleaming from ear to ear
I am for the first time comforted in my own skin
understanding that there is no apology needed
for me being the best me I can be.
there no longer remains a need to be accepted,
validated, approved, or fear of being rejected.
For I shall set the boundaries
and with God's might I will open and close all doors.
I will object to all negativity
and I will continue to boast in that light.
a light that i have sparked,
embraced, and drapped on my person.
For it is more that an ora
but best explained
as a peace of mind...

-stanley byrd

At this point...

at what point,
when your kindness is taken for weakness,
shall the ties of accessibility be broken?
when do decide that enough is enough?

at what point?
at what point?

alternative motives have serverd there twisted purpose
to munipulate the most vulnerable aspects of my being.
my stomach churns in disgust...at the way the world operates.

oh what a world
oh what a simple world.

coniving fascades,
aided by stretched agendas,
take away the faith and validity of what we have built.
an empire, structured on the truths that we both have shared,
praised and exalted...until we reached this point.
a point of exhaustion
a bitter point of fatigue
a point where your brand of bull ****is no longer honored here.

oh what a shame
oh what a damn shame

so having reached this point
and having discovered that your cross is bear, fake.
i will no longer praise your sky
i will no longer exalt your worth.
for i am cutting the ties today
show and tell is over
munipulation is definitely over
your access has been denied
because this feeling is beyond a boiling point
its a raw compalation of frustration, humiliation, and degredation
that i will not
and shall not entertain
at this point.

-stanley byrd

what do you see in those eyes?

there was time
when those eyes
those purely coated innocent eyes
used to speak to me, greet me, kiss me
those eyes used to glare with intringue,
interest and warm inviting mystery
those eyes were all mine
and i was the beauty that those eyes beholded.

and then those eyes shifted
the beauty that once captured & tickled its fancy
no longer possessed the life, the abundance of life that kept these eyes in focus
eyesight now blurred by larger,brighter, bolder, and more beautiful spectacles
all temporary remedies used as a life jacket
to save these eyes from the curiousity
that will lead to it's demise.
i was no longer that brilliant star
that guided thses eyes home,
my light began to transpose as artificial,
and the glow from my once so radiant smile has dimmed.
and yet another has claimed the honor
of making these eyes turn sorrow into joy
and opening the lids of their once naive exposure
to possibilities of difference and the empowerment of change.
they now have rights to seeing the salted,
innocent tears trail paths on the heart of the holder of these eyes.
opportunities that we have indulged together have withered
and the seed of faith that i planted for our future
has a new nurturer now.
not knowing my tecnique
or even every intent behind every breath that i breathed into its lungs.
this new comer will have to face it's own trials and errors
with making these eyes focus on that rapped me of my sunshine
and lifted them to a spot in light of clear retna's view.

bitterness used to cause a little redness
but visine cleared that right on up.
regret used to rent space in my heart
but optimism has evicted the thought of it.
an earnest desire to be compensated for what i have lost in this deficit
has been supplemented by a new found independence
that produces thoughts of life and ever greater possibilities.

for a while i still yearned for the grace of those eye's vision
those eyes tenderness and sweet unadulterated reassurance.
i still tasted the salt from my lips after comforting the wounds from battle.
a battle that took place right in front of these eyes.
playing back constantly like a 50's soundless film.
trauma, shown in vivid, pungent colors, HD
all baggage added to storage.
a storage place
that i have cleared, cleaned, aired out, and even renovated.

these eyes belonged to the old me.
petrified of not being seen, noticed, and ignored.
terrified of losing, or being wrong.
being first consumed me and being the best wore me down.
labelled powerless and sat infront of myself
forced to face the issues with in:
self-hate, pity, shame, fear, doubt,the maybes, the unsures,
the what ifs and even that maybe tomorrows.
a storm that these eyes have formed
and witnessed exalted and praised by the insecurities that overwhelm me.
but i have shaded these eyes now
with more that uv protection....
with a wise, sound confidence,
delicate safe pride
and sweet yet lethal power
that has overturned and dispelled
what these eyes have know for soo long as truth.
i have gained patents to my rights to be right
to be sure to walk straight
and the right to see beauty when I look these eyes dead on
remnants of this storm exist no longer
and the raging sound of victory
flood the happy ending of these eye's song

what do you see in those eye?


-stanley byrd