peace of mind

such a mood altering experience;
once sparked the feeling slowly lifts you from the truth
and twirls you into a playland of fantasy vs. reality.
my core is shaken by it's pungent stinch.
anxiously meandering into the unknown,
the hidden, the exposed......and the world of possibilities.
senses are heightened,
then dragged through a mucker of misery.
lead by a fleet of insecurities
this caravan is headed for an emotional demise.
this lethal impartation awaits for my approval.
I approach only partially prepared for the occassion
dressed with an armour of fear
and armed only with my untrained faith
I blindly approach these meeting grounds
petrified of the agenda to unfold
I wait, with my defenses on standby.
overlooking the table of contents
I see a detailed composition of issues:
both lived and conquered.
a spectrum of delusions munipulated
and altered by images of uncertanties.
my head overwhelmed,
swells from the abundance of shock and doubt.
things that I have know for so long as truth have crumbled,
due to one simple exposure to the light.
a simplistic ray,
holding in its power the opportunity for vison and change.
my eyes ache from this irregular occurence
but my heart beats the same....
there still remains truth.
I embrace the light
I curiously dive into it's stream
never second guessing it's purity
I bath in it's refreshing clarity
and allow all of the doubt,
tradition, insecurities and such to soak away.

I am sooo comforted by its prescence
that I must submerge the old me
and arise as a new being.
much like a baptism.
I symbolically take a stand in front of the world
and ackowledge that there can be life after death
there can be new beginnings
there can be security found in the unknown.
I rise to the occassion
much lighter than before
unburdened and elated for the opportunity
to embrace this new day
gleaming from ear to ear
I am for the first time comforted in my own skin
understanding that there is no apology needed
for me being the best me I can be.
there no longer remains a need to be accepted,
validated, approved, or fear of being rejected.
For I shall set the boundaries
and with God's might I will open and close all doors.
I will object to all negativity
and I will continue to boast in that light.
a light that i have sparked,
embraced, and drapped on my person.
For it is more that an ora
but best explained
as a peace of mind...

-stanley byrd